This is Botswana

It can be really hard to describe this place to people who haven’t spent serious time here because there are so many contradictions. You can tell stories that reinforce all the stereotypes- and they would be true. Or you can tell the complete opposite. Also true. That’s a conundrum- a word I recently explained to a guy who was dictating to me exactly what I needed to yell at his friend in Setswana so that he and his buddies could all be entertained by me. Competing truths that lead you to opposite life applications: “on the one hand, I LOVE speaking Setswana, on the other hand, I HATE being told what to do…conundrum.” So, in honor of all these contradictions…this is Botswana:

1. No shirt, no shoes, no service. Modesty is a tough one to figure. Don’t be surprised to be greeted by a bishop with his robe slung over one shoulder, peeing in full frontal view of the road. Similarly, boobs just get hot and need to be aired out. Tube tops, skin-tight short pencil skirts, and balance-your-lunch-on-it cleavage are all the rage. Also true: a woman once apprehended Owen (she saw him put his shirt on as he approached town after a long run). She stopped the car, backed up, and told him he might be arrested for public indecency. Oo-la-la. Also… armpits. Sometimes they’re ok, sometimes not. I can’t figure out which is when.

2. Techknowledgey. Few people at the district health office know that turning “capslock” on and off is not the only or most efficient way to capitalize a single letter. Few people realize that saving a document saves you the trouble of retyping it every time you want it printed. Also true: I am the only one in my office who doesn’t own a smartphone and doesn’t know how to use WhatsApp. Facebook is the easiest way to contact almost everyone. Many people go for specialized IT college training, but only the bravest will tackle Mavis Beacon teaches typing.

3. Cleanliness standards. Maybe it has something to do with cleaning ladies taking their jobs very seriously and something to do with who is responsible for and who benefits from what. I don’t know. Here is what I can tell you. Once, I walked into a public hospital restroom to find feces smeared on the wall…this is not the worst of it, but that might be blog-inappropriate.  Outhouse pumping before it all overflows is not necessarily a priority. And yet, almost every time I visit a store (during normal business hours), there are several women mopping the floor, and several other women fanning the floor with cardboard or with plastic “Caution” signs, presumably to help it dry quicker than desert air already does. These women will yell at you, tackle you, smack you with their signs- really they will go to any lengths necessary to keep you from touching their freshly mopped floor. If it is the whole aisle, room, store, etc. –well, you’re just out of luck. Go spend your money elsewhere, we don’t want it.

4. This same paradox seems to apply to personal hygiene. It is customary to bathe twice a day. Lets be honest, Americans are all disgusting hippies to even question that necessity. Batswana might be absolutely correct on this one though. 1.) It’s hot here. You’re always sweaty no matter what, so bathe people! 2.) We don’t bathe in very much water, so just do the math: the ratio of bird-bath clean to full shower clean is about 6:1. 3.) Have you smelled the combis? (and they are full of twice-bathed people) 4.) You never know when you will lose that water. Drinking water should take priority, so take your baths whenever and as often as you can when the water is on! It is also customary to wash everyone else’s hands before you eat (picture Jesus washing the disciple’s feet). It’s a beautiful way to treat guests. However the custom usually involves a few tablespoons of water and never any soap. A nurse friend told me that it’s really the friction that does most of the cleaning though, so maybe not so paradoxical after all. I would still want my surgeon to use the soap though.

5. Gender norms. I might argue that these are a little paradoxical in every culture, and it’s really not a funny one. In Botswana, women hold a lot of financial power; they dominate the workforce; and are more heavily represented politically than women in the U.S. They still experience little power in relationships though. 1 in 3 women face gender-based-violence. Passion killings are still a problem. Please pray for this one.